OUTShine 2015 “Hear Our Story”

OUTShine 2015

“Hear Our Story” Presentation by Christepher Wee

Hello, I am Christepher Wee. I am an educator in the BC School System, an actor and model in Asia, and Mr. Gay Canada 2014. The person speaking to you today was not always whom you perceive now. I too like many including those sitting among us here today at OUTShine have all gone through our own adversities and challenges. Had our share of failures and victories. We have all soared in our own ways like Phoenixes out of the ashes to become the ever evolving person we are today.

I was one of those not completely quiet and shy kids who at times exhibited a bubbly and playful nature. In my elementary and high school years, I was not a part of the nerdy, popular, or the artsy group and from the looks of me far from the rebels of the playgrounds and courtyards. As one of my classmates, Jarrett, stated I was the “in-between” because I associated well with everyone and parts of me connected and identified with each group. Upon reflection, perhaps fitting in a little bit everywhere was my fear of not completely fitting somewhere because I knew I was different. The fear of not being accepted and not fully coming to terms with my own sexual orientation left me marginalized. Knowing that I was different was far from the reality of letting my authentic self live.

School life today is very different from when I was teaching over 10 years ago and when I was going to school dinosaur years prior. Back then we did not address the presence of LGBTQ+ students in schools. It was like a quiet, unspoken acknowledgement and tolerance of it. Where school life went on for the mainstream, the LGBTQ+ students like myself were unconsciously and consciously marginalized.

Though I had a good school life, it was not the full enriching experience because I did not have a forum or conducive environment to be authentically myself. I was not able to share my personal thoughts and feelings as a young gay youth. I felt left out because the world that revolved around me did not address my concerns and issues, nor did it provide me with an environment to harness or nurture my development as a gay youth.

I think time has changed this reality for many today. If we compare our education system today to mine and that of our parents and grandparents, we would witness the progressive advancements that have been made. For instance, during my days in sex education class, we talked about sex, safer sex, and transmittable STDs that were of heterosexual content. Never mind the fact that most of us were already embarrassed to talk about sex with our teacher and classmates out loud, for me sitting there to discuss heterosexual related content was like watching a Sci-Fi movie or having an outer-body experience. I remember thinking the following and trying to answer my own questions but getting no answers of course.

“Is it normal for me to have feelings for guys?”

“Am I suppose to be attracted to guys?”

“How do I ask another guy out?”

“Is he going to beat me up and tell everyone?”

“Will everyone laugh at me and avoid me like the plague?”

“How do I have sex with a guy and what would we do?”

“Are there gay STDs?”

When my friends and peers talked about their first kiss, dating bliss and nightmares, and their boyfriend/girlfriend problems, I sat silently marginalized. Nothing pertained to me. Their experiences and comments only silenced me more and created further self-doubt of my own awareness. Though never bullied for my sexual orientation, I think the effect of feeling marginalized was still the same. A part of me still felt alone and excluded. It was like a silent imprisonment.

I think I isolated and marginalized myself as much as my unsafe school environment did by not having the insight to embrace the realities of our diverse school community. As the classes and years of schooling passed, my self-questioning and feelings toward guys intensified. Without knowing where to turn to, those pressing emotions and thoughts of my own authenticity became thorns that seemed unjustifiable and unacceptable.

If only those were the days of googling, let’s ask Siri, Egale, OUTShine, myGSA, Out in Schools, The Youth Project, Camp fYrefly, and CampOut. I think my questions would have had many answers without having to sit through class after class of questioning, unknowing, and heterosexual sex-Ed Sci-Fi marathons. I would have had opportunities to have my story and identity validated by others of like minds, spirits, and sensibilities.

In my teaching years, I witnessed the same neglect in my teaching environment. I could see some of the students in me when I was their age. Going through school life as voiceless and silenced LGBTQ+ youths. Even then our educational system was still not at a place where students could openly be themselves and have the support and encouragement they needed. Schools were still where all could not feel safe, secure, and protected. Today as adults, my “Out” students and I can openly share what it was like for them in school and how different their lives would be if they had the supportive school environment, and personal courage and confidence to be themselves then.

I think today that silence is broken. Being acknowledged and tolerated is not enough because it does not foster accountability for the issues at hand. Today, we openly strive for all to feel safe, secure, and included in every aspect of school life. For example, this OUTShine Summit, the many GSAs in schools across Canada, Pink Shirt Days, Anti-bullying campaigns, and diversified school-based sex education. Discussion of same-sex parents, sexual orientation, and identified gender are talked about and discussed. I think students have a safer place to have their questions answered and their thoughts and feelings shared. School Boards and schools are making advancements in creating forums for LGBTQ+ awareness and education.

Last year, the Vancouver School Board passed an amended LGBTQ+ policy. This process was met with challenges and obstacles that needed to be overcome. I witnessed opposing sides stand up for what they believed was acceptable in our society. With the clashes of ideals, values, opinions, and philosophies, the important fact is implementation of this revised policy could only benefit students at large, regardless of where he, she, or they fits within the LGBTQA+ spectrum.

The reality that the Vancouver School Board and any school board in Canada or in the world must ultimately address is the provision of safe and secure school environments where LGBTQ+ students have the same opportunities and environments to excel, develop, and be nurtured like their counterparts, so that they too may reach their fullest authentic potentials.

OUTShine is a reflection of our Canadian societal progress culturally and educationally. GSAs though not in all schools across Canada yet, their existence exemplify and amplify how students have the right to an environment conducive to their educational, social, physical, emotional, and mental development. If we want our schools and society to advance then we must each take ownership and responsibility to be a part of its evolution.

“Social advance depends quite as much upon an increase in moral sensibility as it does upon a sense of duty.” – Jane Addams.

I hope that being here at OUTShine will awaken your consciousness. It took me years of discovery, self-doubt, questioning, rediscovery, and evolution to slowly come into my own conscious awareness of my identity, belonging in our community and society, and acceptance and revelation of living a life that is authentically mine.

I no longer live for being at the top of my class or the most successful, popular teacher but rather for the empowerment knowledge brings and the gratitude that my voice and inspiration make a difference in students. I no longer live to wear the latest designs or have a home that outshines my relatives and peers but rather wear what makes me comfortable and look presentable, and contentment in a home uniquely my sensibility. I no longer live to compare my endeavours with others or pay attention to the number of likes and friend requests on my social media accounts but rather how my endeavours and postings can inspire, empower, and impact others. I no longer live to please my parents’ aspirations or acceptance from relatives, friends, peers, and others but rather to be true and authentic to myself, and to value my own existence and life.

I believe that if we do not awaken our consciousness, our tomorrow will not materialize. When we become conscious of our being and presence, our responsibilities toward ourselves, loved ones, community, and society will become apparent. Our self-discovery, redefining, and, or defining will be the foundation to our efforts, endeavours, and journey ahead. I think that personal and social transformation go hand in hand.

Gandhi once said, “If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change. As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him..We need not wait to see what others do.”

I encourage you to reflect about your possible transformation and how you can be a vehicle to change rather than rest on the passive waiting for the world and others to transform around you or be your source of impact.

We all have the capacity and potential to leave a positive imprint and legacy, and create an impactful phenomenon. We need to begin by awakening our own consciousness. Then be the flame to ignite the consciousness of others.

I think that human consciousness is the premise to vision and action. Acknowledgement of this is the first step to self-revelation and immeasurable possibilities.

Today, LGBTQ+ youths have identifiers through television shows like Glee, Modern Family, Transparent, The Fosters, and so on depicting our diverse livelihoods. Public figures like Ontario Premier Kathleen Wynne, talk show hosts Steven Sabados & Chris Hyndman, Ellen DeGeneres, actress Ellen Page, and athletes like Bruce Jenner and Ian Thorpe take centre stage in society becoming visible role models for LGBTQ+ individuals.

Your voices and experiences are powerful educational tools. Utilize them to inspire, educate, and enlighten others about the value of embracing diversity. Work together with your peers and others to create a school, a community where everyone can feel safe and proud to be authentically themselves.

I encourage and challenge each of you to get involved and stay involved, to expand and give life to the voices and opportunities you have now unlike my era of silence. Be a part of the legacy where one day life in our schools and communities can simply be places where words do not define or protect us. Exercise your rights as a member of your school community.

“If you are neutral in institutions of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor.” – Desmond Tutu.

What’s one way you can materialize your vision? Networking.

Networking is one effective and efficient avenue to help you realize your vision. Use the resources around you or accessible online to assist. There is a wealth of knowledge, expertise, creativity, and convictions of those in your school, community, and around you here. Look to your left, your right, behind and in front of you. These new friends we have met here, all 500 of us at OUTShine 2015 is a complex web of skills, knowledge, support, encouragement, and momentum to create a phenomenon. You are never alone if you make the effort to call, email, text, Skype or simply tap the shoulder of the person near you. I am standing here today because I networked and dared to reach out.

When I won Mr. Gay Canada, there was no mandate or system organized for me. I had to create my own mandate and utilize the title like a self-operated business. I set out my plans to fulfill my vision of participating and speaking at Prides, being a visible and heard ambassador for our LGBTQ+ community regionally, nationally and globally, and being an advocate for organizations I feel passionate about.

I started searching online, in FB, Twitter, etc for Prides across Canada and in Asia. I reached out to the Prides with my letter of intent and vision.

I wrote, called, messaged, and went personally to organizations I wished to work with and, or endorse.

I reached out to the media to write and share my story and vision as a National LGBTQ+ ambassador.

I created visibility and awareness of who I am through my social media publicity and opportunities in print, radio, and TV interviews.

I networked to gain access to resources and individuals who could facilitate my plans. I utilized the resources in my regional, national, and global community to increase my profile.

I worked 18-20hrs everyday to build and support the foundation I needed to turn my vision into reality.

I think I was very successful in realizing my Mr. Gay Canada aspirations. When I relive my year as Mr. Gay Canada through my photos, videos, and interviews, I feel enriched, empowered, inspired, and blessed. In my adventures throughout Canada and Europe, I experienced first and foremost the kindness, passion, and commitment of many individuals in our LGBTQA+ communities. I sensed a progressive change and growth in society towards celebrating our differences and embracing our diversity. I witnessed our children being taught that love is love and being exposed to communities united in pride. I glimpsed into many livelihoods that heightened my sense of compassion, understanding, and respect for my fellow global brothers and sisters who face persecution and whose basic human rights are violated everyday.

Through the many messages from supporters, I know that I have inspired others in some way to reach their fullest potentials, sparked their desire to positively contribute to their communities, and empowered some to live lives that are authentically theirs.

Never could I have dreamed the fairy tale I lived the past year. I truly felt blessed and grateful for each and every experience along my journey. There was not a day or experience that I did not stop to give thanks for and reflect upon with gratitude. I feel so privileged to be living in a country where my lived realities are guarded by laws that are practiced. I am so proud to be an Out Chinese Canadian.

Remember that conviction without planning and dedication will not get you far. Use your resources and networking contacts to help you realize your vision.

You must remember to be grateful and thankful to those who have contributed to your endeavours and journey. Let me take this opportunity to thank Egale for giving me this honour to share my thoughts with you and be a part of OUTShine 2015, to MYGSA.ca for crediting me as one of their National GSA resources, to Pride Winnipeg who sponsored my flight to OUTShine because they believe in my efforts and the importance of my work here, and lastly, to Victoria Inn Hotel and Convention Centre for providing me with a comfortable home away from home.

When you leave here today, I have an assignment for you. Yes, what kind of teacher would I be if I did not assign you with homework. I want you to reflect on the following questions and send me your reflections. My contact can easily be found in your OUTShine booklet, you may google it, or ask Siri. Keep in mind that my ChristEpher is spelt with an “E” and my last name is WEE.

What are some of the initiatives and campaigns you are involved with in your school or community? Review these to see if they are meeting or exceeding their purpose. If not, what’s the next step? Improve on it? Or revamp it to reach its intended goal? Or start new?

What national initiative can you and others here collaboratively give life to? What are the action plans you will implement to help you succeed?

Always evaluate and re-evaluate what you are doing. Seek for advise and feedback. Remember to approach emerging challenges with innovative and productive actions and solutions. Don’t be afraid to adapt and change. Improvements will come out of this process.

“As long as you live in the past, you will never find your future.” – Rumplestiltskin, Once Upon A Time.

The last point I would like to share with you is that the premise of “Self-Pride” starts from our own conscious awakening and our “Self-Pride” must extend to our family, friends, community, provinces, nation, and into the borders of our global community for it to be meaningful.

We no longer live in days of isolation but in a national and global community where borders do not really separate us. The land and water boundaries that separate our homes do not reflect the borderless connections we have as fellow citizens of Canada and of the world.

If we let the physicality of our borders control our voices and actions then we have failed in our responsibilities to ourselves and to our fellow brothers and sisters elsewhere.

I believe that our visibility amplifies our voices. Our complacency only undermines the rights our pioneers fought to obtain, and our silence condones the hatred, injustice and violations of human rights that still exist in many corners of our country and world. We must stand firm in self-pride and exercise resiliency to be the voices and faces of advocacy.

“The fundamental delusion of humanity is to suppose that I am here and you are out there.” – Yasutani Roshi

The reality is we inter-exist. The reciprocality of what exists or happens there will affect and reflect here. As would the tendencies here transcend there. Our responsibility to ourselves extends beyond our regional community. We must be conscious national and global citizens to create momentum for the progress and the change we envision.

We must build a tomorrow where inter-are is a lived reality. To accomplish this we must work inter-dependently and inter-collaboratively. Start by creating a positive environment to accommodate change in your home, school, workplace, and community then look to extend that beyond.

Oprah Winfrey once said, “Be a part of something. Don’t live for yourself alone… stand for something larger than yourself…life is a reciprocal exchange. To move forward, you have to give back.”

You are the foundation of our community, society, and tomorrow. Are you going to leave our world better off than when you lived it? From your presence here, I already know that this is one step to an affirmative answer to my question.

We have the responsibility to tirelessly educate our young, our peers, our human counterparts and re-educate our antagonists. Work with others to create safe spaces for open dialogue where we can enlighten and educate, and give life to campaigns and initiatives that will change perceptions and foster understanding and respect. For example, I have started my initiative hi5diversity to empower our youth to use creative means to educate about and celebrate our diversity. How can you foster advancements in your school, community, and beyond?

When everyone has an understanding of what it is like to be one another, have a heart of compassion for the person sitting beside us, and have respect for the differences our diversity should celebrate and embrace, then we have achieved great progress.

How have you utilized your adversities and success stories to better our society? Have you tuned into the richness of who you are today to inspire and empower others to discover their potential and awesomeness? Are you going to utilize your prodigious ability to look beyond the horizon to build a tomorrow where you and our descendants can live in a world that acknowledges, embraces, and supports self-authenticity?

It takes leaders and visionaries to project ahead and see the benefits to come. That’s how positive progress and advancements are achieved. I hope that you will be the catalyst for the change Gandhi spoke of and be the leaders and visionaries in your school community and beyond.

Let’s build a tomorrow that honours and celebrates our diversity. Leave an imprint and legacy where society will be better than an individual. Then we have succeeded in our collective vision of creating and living in places where we can all be authentically ourselves and have the opportunities to reach our fullest potential.

“Progress is unstoppable. It is a drumbeat to which we must all march…marching to a different drumbeat of progress.” – Yann Martel’s Life of Pi.

Thank-you for giving me this honour to share my thoughts with you. I hope you will leave here charged with the phoenix within to be the change not only in the comfort of your environment but be the change that will impact the lives of our brothers and sisters elsewhere. A new tomorrow starts with today. Let your self-pride and resiliency be your strength to be the change. Dare to inspire to empower!